Reminiscing and Meeting Myself Again

Six years ago I wrote in this blog for the first time. I only wrote 14 posts over the course of around 8 months but they are still here. I read them and try to remember my thought process, the situations, my feelings and they are foreign to me. I recognize them and remember having them but they are things that I wouldn't really think nowadays. I don't have many records of those days in high school but I'm glad I never deleted this and that google kept it for so long. Sure, no one probably read any of it but it's really important to me to catch a glimpse of who I was now tht I am back on the path to self discovery. The events that led to this path recently are the biggest blessings in disguise I've received in a long time. Sure, 6 years isn't all that long and I'm only 23 so why am I talking like I'm in my 30's? Because even 6 years at my young age are priceless. Those thoughts I had were me. I am learning to love everything about me. Every little thought that I have simply because I am thinking it. I forgot who I was for years but reading this I realize it's not that I forgot but I just didn't know.Here's to the start of a new life! Cheers!

Business, Anime Club Lock-Ins, and the Horrors of Realization

Okies. So I'm here in class and I decide that for my project for Texas Performance Standards I'm going to start a business. Sounds simple right? No! Wrong! Fail! Okies so I copied that from a friend. He always says that when I say something he calls stupid or wrong. I'll be like, "Hey did you know that half my friends are total weirdos and the best way to deal with them is to talk to them in an intellectual manner?" He'll reply, "Fail. Wrong. You're friends are weirdos alright but you need to assert your dominance over them and never ever use exact percentages unless you have tested it and proved it right," or something equally ridiculous... I'll have to think of a better example than that. Anyway. So we finally started advertising our products and we got our first call from our ads yesterday! Woot! Sounds fun. It Is! On another note, I was thinking about the lock-in we're having after school today... Sounds like fun right? No! Wrong! Fail! hahaha disregard that I was just getting a little too hyper there. But in all seriousness it should be really fun. I'll tell you guys all about it later after it happens and I have time to type once again. I have a friend that's writing a novel too. A fantasy one at that. She should finish it sometime next year. Wow it's been a while. I was thinking that maybe I should search for someone like Tehol Beddict... He's a character from a book I read called Midnight Tides. I. Love. This. Book! He's a total genius! Wow..... So yeah I realized the other day that my guitar is truly a beautiful creation and that I've been neglecting it. I was so ashamed that I practiced until my fingers almost bled. Then I realized I shouldn't push it so I can't play at all... That would be so much worse. Oh well... I should get going now unfortunately because I have some serious business to take care of and I apologize if this post isn't fluid. My thoughts are really scattered right now. Adios everyone! See you in the next instalment!

Serenata

Okies, so I was listening to this absolutely beautiful song and I thought of a serenata. If the guy I love were to mess things up, not too badly but enough to forgive him, I might love it if he sang me this song. Ha it was such a random thought and so strange that I indulged it further. You know even if he didn't do anything wrong, I would still love it if he sang to me like the old Mexican tradition because of this part in the song that says, "Si (Tú sabes que te quiero) tú sabes que te quiero (Con todo el corazón, Con todo el corazón, Con todo el corazón) Que (Que tú eres el anhelo De mi única ilusión, De mi única ilusión, De mi única ilusión) Tú eres mi esperanza" and so on and so forth. I really like it. It's called Perdón with Vicente Fernandez and Alejandro Fernandez. Well it was a very nice daydream and I was listening to that song many times afterward. Ha what if the guy I fall in love with isn't Mexican? I thought of that too... That really sucks and I might even pay a mariachi group to sing to me randomly one night I'm not expecting it. So beautifully addicting. Mujeres Divinas, Hermoso Cariño, Que Falta Me Hace Mi Padre, Nadie Es Eterno, Las Llaves De Mi Alma, and even Por Tú Maldito Amor would be totally awesome. Haha I'm getting all happy just thinking about it. Sorry it was so short I was just completely consumed by this thought....

Work, Movies, Logic, and Authority

Okies did I ever tell you guys about the fact that....I got a job! Well I've had it for almost six months now. I started on June 9, 2008. I work at the biggest theater in El Paso lol. Tinseltown is awesome and I'm really having fun. It reminds me that people actually spend their money just to watch a movie and how I may have been guilty of the same thing. I mean there's people that will spend $100 or more just for one movie! Seriously. So I saw Twilight right? I LOVED it!! Amazing. Really. Well I was thinking that if a vampire existed in this world I wouldn't hesitate to date him. Or marry him... Or be with him forever. I have loved vampires and their stories since I stopped looking at the crap they feed you when they tell you the story of Dracula. Ugh. Such a terrible vampire version. I mean if people would just look at stuff like the Black Dagger Brotherhood then things would be better. Another thing is Logic. Do you have any idea how complicated Logic can be when you are completely new to the actual subject? Very if I may say so. The part you don't know realize you use everyday is hard. Like circular reasoning. Jeez talk about confusing... Well I want to learn to argue efficiently and very very well. I was thinking of starting a lesson and then practicing on forums online like a friend of mine. The only difference is that while he may be arguing against pretty good debaters, I'll be looking for the easy piece of cake ones that may not know what they are doing. You know, that just reminded me of how difficult working with people who have power is. You see, there's a nice unseen boundary between you and a person with more power and authority than you. I personally can't stand it because there's not much you can do about it but it exists. What do you say to a person who initially said you are a partner but now talks to you as if you were an underling? Jeez... What to do?

My New Pets

Okies. So another update I forgot to mention. I finally convinced my parents to let me keep.....drum roll please.....Sugar Gliders!! Tada. Well in case you're one of the many people out there who don't know what a sugar glider is, it is a marsupial (like a kangaroo) that is about 4-6 inches long with a tail about as long if not longer than the body. They are generally grey with a black stripe running from the head to the base of the tail. They are about the most adorable creatures I've seen and now I am a proud owner of two! they spend their lives in trees in the wild so they require a tall cage at least 3 feet high... I stress at least 3 feet high....anyway. They eat fruits and manna from trees and tend to be calcium deficient so a diet with a calcium to phosphorus ratio of 2:1 along with supplement is required. They are nocturnal and are very very social creatures that require plenty of attention. It is recommended that you keep at least 2 gliders so they can keep themselves company in case you can't provide at least 3 hours of interaction time with them. They are prone to depression if they don't have the social interaction they need so be careful! My gliders are Suri and Kana. Male and female. Unfortunately for me I'm not a glider expert and it is quite difficult to tell the difference between the sexes at such an early stage so i'll have to wait to find out which is which. Kana has a serious attitude problem lol. Kana crabs a lot at anyone who so much as talks next to it. Suri is more trustful and more friendly. I will be looking into some diet variations soon. I don't want them to get bored. I will also be looking at some new toys that I can switch out for them to enjoy themselves at their play hour. I really adore these creatures... Well enough enough for now... I know this post didn't follow my usual random rants but I felt it necessary to include it.

New-ness

Okies. So here I am rereading again (not that it takes long to read the ten or so blogs I've posted) and I've decided that my first step could be asking my friends to help me advertise my blogs. perhaps that would work. I don't know really. Eh. I have a friend that I would really like it if he read some of my stuff, but unfortunately he would probably just see it as a waste of time and dismiss it completely. I happen to regard him with the utmost esteem. I really wish he would just be a little nicer to me... Jeez I'm getting totally depressed/depressing. I should stop that. I don't know. Maybe I should find someone else that I can esteem as highly because of his experience and intelligence that happens to be a better person. I don't think it's possible. Eh. You know, I was thinking that maybe it really is true that women love to suffer. Men can treat them like the worst piece of crap on the sidewalk and yet they still come back for more. I find that I'm guilty of the same thing, unfortunately. I would tell myself I will never ever let that happen to me but it happened and I can't convince myself to give up. Blah. Well. I noticed the honesty and truth behind the saying that there's a fine line between love and hate. That one person that you've hated for the longest time is the one you will probably end up with and live at least content or resigned. As for all of those other relationships supposedly based on love? Ha what a joke. Just look at all those divorces of those who married ones they thought they loved forever before. Do they look happy now? Nope. Not gonna happen. Jeez.

I have some catching up to do....

Wow! it's been such a long time... Being a senior can be seriously time consuming. I mean you have AP classes, boys, scholarships, college applications, new pets, parties, caps and gowns, class rings, senior pictures, last highschool year drama and so much more. To be honest, it's exhausting. I am so glad I remembered about this blog but I'm quite surprised that even after such a long time of me not talking to you guys I still don't get any feedback on my thoughts. Maybe you don't know I exist. If that's the case I really should figure out how to promote myself to the Internet eye. Well I'll deal with that when I get to it. I was rereading some of my old posts to remind myself of thoughts I already typed up and realized that there's something I forgot to mention in my talk about embalming. Well you know how I mentioned the fact that it's probably really creepy for a foreigner to come to an American funeral because the deceased look like they are going to just open their eyes and jump out of the casket? I was also thinking that Americans who love this kind of thing (not saying Americans love death mind you) must be crazy masochistic. My reasoning for that is simple. Okies so you have a special person who just passed away right? That person is taken to a funeral home, paid for, and left to the artists. Well if these so called artists do such an amazing job of making the body look alive, then aren't they just causing more suffering and confusion? I mean if I lost a loved one I would probably be in denial. So I'm in denial and then all of a sudden I see that loved one looking as though he/she is just asleep. I would be confused and I think I might just go crazy and be like, "Let him/her out! Can't you see he/she won't be able to breathe? Can't you see you're going to kill him/her!?" and frankly that's disturbing. So those who pay for this must be masochistic to hurt themselves by believing that their loved ones are alive by paying for the artist makeover... Did that make any sense? I don't really know but it did in my head. If you need a nice explanation just leave some way to contact you. An email address actually. And I will get back to you with a well rehearsed explanation and elaboration. Thanks you all. I Love you guys lol. See you soon. Or in my next post which might be in about ten minutes...